T'was the Eve of MidWinter and all thru the coven,
The Witches were cooking strange things in the oven.
There were mugwort frittatas and dragon's blood stew
And mescaline eggnog and mandrake fondue
There were hot mountain oysters and road kill pate`
And spotted owl kidneys and wombat flambé`
The circle was cast and the herbs had been smoked
In hopes that the Goddess would soon be invoked
When out by the hot tub arose such a clatter
I jumped off my broom to see what was the matter
And what should I see in the blackberry thorns
But a soaking wet Goddess and eight unicorns
"I was just sitting down with my vibrating phallus
And a good book, " she muttered" You bitches are callous!
I came when you called over all my objections
And got lost in the woods - you give lousy directions
You turkeys invoked me; now look at my dress,
My period's late and I've got PMS!"
She cursed as She muttered; She looked like a wreck,
The unicorns whimpered and shat on the deck.
We gave her some weed and we got her some grub
We brought her clean towels and She soaked in the tub
Then She rose hot and dripping and gave us her blessing
And jumped in her chariot without even dressing!
"On Isis, on Erie, Oya and Astarte
On Ishtar, Inanna, Kali and Hecate!"
We heard her exclaim as She climbed thru the air,
"Thank goodness, there's only eight sabbats a year!"
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